How in the world did we get to only 53 days of 2017 left to go?!? Remember that big long list of goals and dreams we all made at the end of 2016? I don’t even know where mine is, let alone have much accomplished. It’s a sad fact that I am still not organized or de-cluttered, not debt-free and not more than several pounds lighter. I am not going to let that get me down and discouraged.
First things first, take a deep breath. Next, get out the calendar, a notepad and pen. Now make a realistic to-do list, a realistic list of goals and write it all down and put the specific, have-to-do items on the calendar. This last step is important, put up somewhere I will see it everyday. The to-do list goes on the refrigerator door, reminders are in the calendar on my phone and on the paper calendar, also on the fridge and my list of goals is now on my desk where I will see it every day.
I admit that I am easily overwhelmed and the closer the holidays get I become much more emotional. I grudgingly give in to the fact that I cannot create the perfect holiday, memory or be everything my warped sense of worth thinks I should be. I have learned to let go of a lot of the too high expectations I have of myself. The struggle with depression is hard enough without driving myself crazy over not being able to perfectly match a ribbon to the wrapping paper. My biggest eye-opener came a few years ago on Christmas Day. I was worn out, frazzled and just an emotional wreck. I felt like I had let my family down because I couldn’t do everything I wanted to do for them both physically and financially, like I wasn’t good enough. After opening gifts and cleaning up after breakfast, my son asked me “why do you always do too much”? Trying not to cry again, I told him I just wanted to try to make everybody happy. He told me it’s all just too much and I don’t need to do everything. Now I know it’s okay to dial it down and take a step back, which makes us all happier.
By keeping focused on what is really important, not what the stores or social media tell me is important, is a huge help. I honestly don’t think anyone cares if my Thanksgiving gravy comes out of a jar or is homemade, but more about the time we are spending together. No one will notice the Christmas cookies that didn’t get baked or the decorations that didn’t get put out. What gets noticed is the warm, tight hugs for those we don’t see often. The hours of conversation, the quiet helping hand, time spent just being together. There is such a satisfying feeling when we bake the turkey for our church community dinner, drop off the Toys for Tots, take food to the food bank and send off our Operation Child shoe boxes and that feeling of peace that Christmas Eve services brings.
I encourage you to re-visit your goals for 2017 and to not worry so much if you are also not where you wanted to be. Wouldn’t our families enjoy us more if we weren’t so stressed out and exhausted? Take a pen and cross out all the things on your list that really just aren’t that important, you’ll feel so much better. I know I will be adding all the things I crossed off my “big” list to my new 2018 list, and that’s okay because I still want to get organized, de-clutter, become debt-free and lose several pounds.
For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what one does not have. ~2 Corinthians 8:12 (NIV)
