Memories and Gratitude

In my quest to regain my organizational skills and reduce the clutter in my home, I spent my weekend going through my cedar chest, boxes of pictures and a box of all the things I have been collecting for my son’s scrapbook which I bought when he was born.  Seventeen years later it’s still in the bag with the receipt.  One of my goals is to get everything in photo albums and scrapbooks, sooner, rather than later.

I wasn’t prepared for the sense of melancholy that came over me and still lingered days later.  Pictures of loved ones no longer with us brought sad smiles and fond memories.  Pictures of new family members brought smiles for the future.   Pictures from when we were dating made us wonder how had we gotten so out of shape and why did I think those clothes were cute.  Pictures from our wedding brought back laughs.  Pictures of when our son was born reminded us of all the anxiety we faced.  Kindergarten drawings and report cards brought out the proud mom in me.  Pictures from Cub Scouts and school made us happy for all the skills we learned together.  Ticket stubs from places we took our son brought back happy memories.  We spent hours telling our son stories of us and our history.  He might have been bored to tears but if he was, he hid it well.

I am fighting back the melancholy by writing a Gratitude Journal.  Back at New Year’s Resolution time, I started a Gratitude Journal and as with most resolutions it kind of fell to the wayside.  I made a point of starting it again and I feel so much better.  Every night, I write down five things I am grateful for and five things that I did right that day.  I won’t lie, some days it’s hard to come up with five.  This has really opened my eyes to how blessed I really am.  Days when it feels nothing goes right, I can always find a few things that did.  On particular sad and gloomy days I go back and reread everything I have written.  On challenging days I feel as sense of accomplishment when I write it down.

While part of me mourns for the dreams that never came to be, part of me is already dreaming new dreams for our future.  We have so much to look forward to and there is only hope and happiness there.

A little blue sky to brighten a cloudy day.

By the way, April is Autism Awareness Month.  Please remember that not every disability is obvious, that many are hidden.  Pacing, twitching, rocking, making noises, repeating themselves over and over are just coping mechanisms.  People that others may see as weird are just trying to get through the day without a meltdown.  Please, please, please…be patient, be kind, be aware.  Share a smile with them.  If you would like to learn more not only about autism but other neurological diversities as well, please check out Special Books by Special Kids on Facebook and follow Mr. Chris on his journey to bring awareness and acceptance.  He is truly a blessing to this community.  After watching a few of his videos it will be so much easier to find things to write in your Gratitude Journal.  

This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. ~ Psalms 118:24 (KJV)

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